


Population: Just You

by knives4cash



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knives4cash/pseuds/knives4cash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where did everyone go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Population: Just You

The early sniper gets the unlucky scavenger, as Cassidy always said to her. The Courier chuckled as she continued handloading fresh .45-70 rounds for her Medicine Stick rifle. Up in the cocktail lounge of the Lucky 38, she gladly warmed up in the early hours of the Mojave morning. 

And there were just so many possibilities for her today, as there had always been. Perhaps she’d spend the day with her family, counting cards and blowing smoke with them around the poker table. Or she could get utterly smashed with Cassidy on some old Pre-War brandy. Maybe she could invite Veronica out on an eventful expedition to the far corners of the local wasteland. 

Perhaps she could get Boone to help her kick some Legion ass. There was always plenty of need for that. 

A happy, little ding alerted the Courier to the entrance, opening to reveal none other than her favorite ghoul, Raul. Leaping out, he seemed a bit frantic, and the lack of eyebrows certainly wasn’t helping her read his body language. 

“Boss, we got a problem!” he alerted as he rushed to the Courier. 

“Raul,” she welcomed as she left her Reloading Bench. “What-” 

“Just come with me, you gotta see this! Rest of the gang’s already outside, come on!” he interrupted, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away from the wonderful world of solidarity. 

One elevator ride later found Courier Six and Raul outside where, sure enough, the rest of the gang was located, all unarmed and standing around totally lost in awe and wonder, save for the grandma of the family, Lily Bowen the friendly Nightkin. 

“Okay, seriously, what the fuck,” Cassidy wondered, so blown away that she had gone full monotone. 

“No Goddamn idea,” Boone helpfully helped as he took a drag from his cigarette. “No. Goddamn. Idea.” 

Hands on his hips, Arcade Gannon took in the scene. “An alien invasion would be more believable than this,” he reasoned with a huff. 

Taking charge of the situation, as was only natural for her, Courier Six announced, “Okay, what are we doing, people?” 

“Oh hey!” Veronica cheerfully welcomed as they all turned to face their favorite delivery woman. “You’re just in time for the big question of the day!”

There were no explosions, no gunshots, no shrieks of death and destruction, and her Pimp-Boy Three Billion wasn’t detecting any radiation. Everything seemed to be calm and quiet 7AM morning for New Vegas. 

“What’s happening?” Six wondered as she joined her friends in front of their home. 

“Ding, ding, ding!” Veronica responded. “Now you win a prize! You get to see what we’re seeing!” she announced, throwing her hands out and showing the world to her friend.

Looking around, Six still didn’t understand, and she had maxed out her S.P.E.C.I.A.L. 

“Listen,” Boone requested. 

Six refrained from additional questions. There was a peaceful atmosphere of silence. No yelling, no screaming, no kids advertising for Mick and Ralph’s, no barking dogs, no reprimanding Securitrons, no catfights involving prostitutes, no drunk gamblers on the streets, none of that.

None of the shit that made New Vegas the wonderful hotspot it had always been.

“Oh.” Stepping forward, Six took a closer look around. “Oh. Oooh, okay, I see,” she realized. “Where the hell is everyone?” 

“No idea!” Cass helpfully answered. “Vee and I went around the whole Goddamn Strip, too! Even stopped by Camp McCarran and the Old Mormon Fort! Everyone’s gone, even the Securitrons,” she elaborated.

“Maybe it _was aliens?”_ Raul spookily wondered. “Like in one of those moving pictures? Those abdications?” 

“Abductions,” Six corrected. “And I seriously doubt any outside life would operate in such an obvious fashion,” she decided. 

“Speaking of fashion,” Arcade segwayed. “Did someone do laundry last night? Because all of our clothes are looking cleaner and snugger,” he observed. 

Sure enough, coats felt crisper, pants lacked coffee stains, and the articles with blue in them were a bit brighter. 

“It’s kind of like our sense of sight has been upgraded,” the Courier noted. 

“So where did all the little people go?” Lily asked, bringing everyone back on topic. 

Doors opening in a slow, dramatic fashion, a lone Securitron Mk1 rolled out with Mr. House’s face on it. “I think I might have the answer to that,” he revealed in an equally dramatic fashion. 

Gathering around the survivor, the gang awaited his response. 

“For the past few days, I’ve been noting an increased amount in activity in New Vegas,” House began, screen flicking to some poorly-drawn charts and statistics. “Even the Legionaries in Caesar’s camp have been deviating from their usual routines.”

“So what was all this fuss about? And why did it make everyone get the hell out of here?” Cass questioned. 

“No matter their background, they all repeatedly used one term over and over again,” House continued. “They kept referring to another war.” 

“Another war?” the Courier gawked.

“We haven’t even finished this one!” Raul exclaimed in confusion. 

“Not only that, but they have predicted a third war and are anticipating the fourth,” House stated. 

Cocking her head, Cassidy wondered, “What in the hell are you running on about, House? What have they been saying?” 

“They’ve all been slowly gathering and sharing speculations on a fourth nuclear armageddon,” House answered. “And they’ve even managed to coordinate a defensible position in preparation for it.” 

“What is it? Where is it?” the Courier demanded. If another war was coming, she wanted to be ready for it. 

“And what exactly have they been talking about?” Boone inquired. “Give us the direct quotes.” 

Dramatically pausing, House finally revealed, “They’ve been saying that they’re going to a city in the far East called ‘Boston’ to await what they’re calling ‘Fallout Four’.” 

“My God,” the Courier gasped. She decided right then and there, “If everyone’s packing up and moving to Boston to await the arrival of this fourth fallout, we need to get there as soon as possible.” 

“We packing now, then?” Arcade guessed. 

Moving past House’s Securitron, Six answered, “You bet your Latin ass we’re packing now! Get all of your valuables together, people! We’re moving our shit to Big Mountain and will establish a touchdown portal as close as possible to this ‘Boston’ city!” 

Charismatic as always, the Courier had her people packed and ready by the end of the day. They spent the next few days at Big Mountain, where the Courier, House, and the Think Tank worked day and night to develop a new portal device, intending to target the area of Boston. 

Unfortunately for the gang, instead of hitting Boston they accidentally teleported to New Boston, a small, rural, underdeveloped patch of wasteland that was located in Northeast Texas. 

Completely isolated, the gang was damned to spend the rest of their days wondering when this fourth fallout would finally hit. They would never truly know, and would be extremely disappointed in this fourth fallout, saying that New Vegas was and always would be the best they’d ever known.

**Author's Note:**

> I did a thing for Fallout 4.


End file.
